OIL CHANGING INSTRUCTIONS for Your GMC

[roger black]

OIL CHANGING INSTRUCTIONS FOR YOUR GMC

WOMEN:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage
reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained GMC.

MEN:

1. Go to Auto Zone and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil
lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to
Auto Zone to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a Bud and drink it.
4. Jack GMC up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
12. Clean up.
13. Have another Bud while oil is draining.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
16. Another Bud.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Decide to finish oil change
tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath GMC.
19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Another Bud. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy more Bud.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to
gasket first.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains
onto floor.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December 1992.
32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
33. Another Bud.
34. Another Bud.
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
36. Another Bud.
37. Lower GMC from jack stands.
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
39. Move GMC back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil
spilled during step 23.
40. Drive GMC.

 

[richard waters]

Roger,
I didn't see you hiding in the bushes the last time I changed the oil in my GMC!

You missed the part where I had to go back to the auto parts store because I
bought the wrong oil filter.
Richard

> MEN:
>
> 1. Go to Auto Zone and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil
> lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
> 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to
> Auto Zone to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
> 3. Open a Bud and drink it.
> 4. Jack GMC up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
> 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
> 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
> 7. Place drain pan under engine.
> 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
> 9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
> 10. Unscrew drain plug.
> 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
> 12. Clean up.
> 13. Have another Bud while oil is draining.
> 14. Look for oil filter wrench.
> 15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
> 16. Another Bud.
> 17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Decide to finish oil change
> tomorrow.
> 18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath GMC.
> 19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
> 20. Another Bud. No, drank it all yesterday.
> 21. Walk to 7-11; buy more Bud.
> 22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to
> gasket first.
> 23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
> 24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
> 25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
> 26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains
> onto floor.
> 27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
> 28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
> 29. Begin cussing fit.
> 30. Throw wrench.
> 31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December 1992.
> 32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
> 33. Another Bud.
> 34. Another Bud.
> 35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
> 36. Another Bud.
> 37. Lower GMC from jack stands.
> 38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
> 39. Move GMC back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil
> spilled during step 23.
> 40. Drive GMC.

 

[rob teed]

ROFL...LOL
Rob Teed 74 Painted Desert

> -----Original Message-----
> From: owner-gmcmotorhome
> [mailtowner-gmcmotorhome]On Behalf Of Richard Waters
> Sent: Tuesday, March 21, 2000 3:15 PM
> To: gmcmotorhome
> Subject: Re: GMC: OIL CHANGING INSTRUCTIONS for Your GMC
>
>
> Roger,
> I didn't see you hiding in the bushes the last time I changed the
> oil in my GMC!
>
> You missed the part where I had to go back to the auto parts
> store because I
> bought the wrong oil filter.
> Richard
>

>
> > MEN:
> >
> > 1. Go to Auto Zone and write a check for 50 dollars for oil,
> filter, oil
> > lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
> > 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of
> taking back to
> > Auto Zone to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
> > 3. Open a Bud and drink it.
> > 4. Jack GMC up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
> > 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
> > 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
> > 7. Place drain pan under engine.
> > 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
> > 9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
> > 10. Unscrew drain plug.
> > 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
> > 12. Clean up.
> > 13. Have another Bud while oil is draining.
> > 14. Look for oil filter wrench.
> > 15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
> > 16. Another Bud.
> > 17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Decide to finish oil change
> > tomorrow.
> > 18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath GMC.
> > 19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
> > 20. Another Bud. No, drank it all yesterday.
> > 21. Walk to 7-11; buy more Bud.
> > 22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of
> clean oil to
> > gasket first.
> > 23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
> > 24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
> > 25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
> > 26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh
> oil drains
> > onto floor.
> > 27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
> > 28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
> > 29. Begin cussing fit.
> > 30. Throw wrench.
> > 31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss
> December 1992.
> > 32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
> > 33. Another Bud.
> > 34. Another Bud.
> > 35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
> > 36. Another Bud.
> > 37. Lower GMC from jack stands.
> > 38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
> > 39. Move GMC back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil
> > spilled during step 23.
> > 40. Drive GMC.
>
>

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