Disclaimer: This obviously does not apply to Marlene or some of the
other GMCer females. show it to you wifes at your own risk.
TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM MEN WHO HAVE HAD ENOUGH:
*If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us. We refuse to answer.
*Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
*If you won't dress like the Victoria Secrets
girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
*Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always
more attractive than short hair. One of the big
reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women always cut their hair, and by then you're
stuck with her.
*Birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Anniversaries are
not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
*If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to,expect an answer you don't want to hear.
*Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
*Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint,
the ball game, or monster trucks.
*Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is not
a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it
that way.
*When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine. Really.
*You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
*Crying is blackmail.
*Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this
one:Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't
work.Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
*No, we don't know what day it is. We never will.
Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
*Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound
to miss sometimes.
*Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- what makes
you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair,
out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
*Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost any question.
*Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do.
*Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
*A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
*Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
*Check your oil.
*It is neither in your best interest not ours to
take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter
which quiz.
*Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
an argument. All comments become null and void
after 7 days.
*If something we say can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we
meant the other one.
*You can either tell us to do something OR tell us
how to do something, but not both.
*Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.
*All men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit,
not a color.
*If it itches, it will be scratched.
*If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we
will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're
lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
other GMCer females. show it to you wifes at your own risk.
TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM MEN WHO HAVE HAD ENOUGH:
*If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us. We refuse to answer.
*Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
*If you won't dress like the Victoria Secrets
girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
*Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always
more attractive than short hair. One of the big
reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women always cut their hair, and by then you're
stuck with her.
*Birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Anniversaries are
not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
*If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to,expect an answer you don't want to hear.
*Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
*Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint,
the ball game, or monster trucks.
*Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is not
a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it
that way.
*When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine. Really.
*You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
*Crying is blackmail.
*Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this
one:Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't
work.Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
*No, we don't know what day it is. We never will.
Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
*Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound
to miss sometimes.
*Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- what makes
you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair,
out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
*Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost any question.
*Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do.
*Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
*A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
*Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
*Check your oil.
*It is neither in your best interest not ours to
take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter
which quiz.
*Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
an argument. All comments become null and void
after 7 days.
*If something we say can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we
meant the other one.
*You can either tell us to do something OR tell us
how to do something, but not both.
*Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.
*All men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit,
not a color.
*If it itches, it will be scratched.
*If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we
will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're
lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
